Too often we blame others for our problems (I wasn’t promoted because he doesn’t like me, I didn’t pass my exams because the professor is biased, I had the best idea but they chose someone they knew) Sometimes these reasons are legitimate but a lot of times they are not.
I always think when you have not succeeded in something, it’s a good time for self-reflection, constructive feedback and fighting the urge to make unfounded assumptions. A young lady I used to mentor was convinced her boss didn’t like her at all. She had applied for a role and her boss gave it to someone else. She went on and on about how she could never get ahead because this woman hated her no matter what she did. So I asked her 3 questions 1. Did you get feedback from your boss after the interview (answer: no) 2. Has she told you directly that she does not like you? (answer: no) 3. Do you honestly believe you were the best person for the job? (answer: silence) My advice to her: stop making assumptions, and speak with your boss and get some feedback.
Well today, she has a new job that she loves and guess what? Her boss thought she was amazing but not right for that role and strongly recommended and supported her for a different role (which by the way is an international one and even better than the previous one). Moral of the story: Don’t make assumptions, keep trying and Bosses, please give feedback. Have a great week!
Great lesson Uche. Thanks for all your daily/weekly and monthly advices. They’re so special for us young and sometimes unexperienced people.
Merci beaucoup et bon weekend